she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
