I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize