me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
