so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
