i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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