i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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