are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
