everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
