It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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