Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
