May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
