I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
