There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think a kid would responsible me up
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
