Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
