my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I came so hard my ears popped.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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