So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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