My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
