okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
