we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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