I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
