I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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