toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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