I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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