I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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