oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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