I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize