They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
