I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
