I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
we're so committed to being not committed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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