3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
