dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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