Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
dude. I can hear the air.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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