you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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