Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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