Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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