Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
