No stitches, just platelets and will power
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize