At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
