Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
