i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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