You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize