Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
