i wish peter jackson would direct porn
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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