I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
