Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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