toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
that's an acceptable place to lick
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Who died my cat blue again?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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