The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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