Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
