Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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