Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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