I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
