it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
