you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
