Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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