I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
