we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
