So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Come see our sink grown plant.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize