YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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