'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
