I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
